shakespeare

hahaha You still playing that trick? Tell them the hair dye isn't actually hair dye will ya? Now, do they want the ground floor or first floor? (there will be a carer on each floor BTW just in case of spillage etc) There will be a lift, so if they want they can take it to the first floor and can still keep their hand in on the old rope tricks!

kenpsd

"Lilley of the Valley"?? is that the same as "Old Spice"??.....or my personal favourite "Brut"......"splash it all over" Oh Boll*cks I just have!!

psdtraining

F sake... dont mention floors, or doors, I've just re-hung the umpteenth door today, the buggers wont open them without 3 chubb shots, top bottom, lock.... as for floors, if someone mentions balconies...... LOL

__________________
PSD Training - www.psd-training.com
National Securty College, +44 (0) 845 056 3992
*the truest form of knowledge - is experience*

shakespeare

Sshhhhhhh! Oh sweet J*sus, you mentioned the "b" word.....Que Uncle Albert "During the war, 1980......" LOL. If you bump into "ish" on your travels wish him all the best.

shakespeare

As promised. Real BTW.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Mr *********,



I am writing to enquire as to wither you have a vacancy for a Close Protection Officer within your organisation. I passed my Close Protection Course with *_*_*_*_ in ******* 200* and am in receipt of my sia CP badge. Further more have I completed my firearms training. I have impeccable references, am loyal, disciplined and have a “can do” attitude. I work well as an individual or as part of a team. During my last employment role I believe my team work attitude and perseverance always shone through to complete the task at hand.


I have attached my CV and would welcome you to view my attributes and achievements.


I am available immediately for either hostile or non hostile employment and look forward to hearing from your office soon.


Yours Sincerely,




***** *********


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------






Dear Mr **********,



Thank you for your enquiry and interest in seeking a position with **** ********.


My colleagues and I have read through your CV with interest. In fact our Senior Operations Manager requested a personal copy to keep on file for future use. It certainly was one of the most enlightening CV's I have had the honour to read in quite some time.


I applaud your professionalism, loyalty and disciplined team player attitude. This is exactly what a professional Close Protection operator would require, along with other skills to enhance himself within our industry.


Unfortunately we do not have a position we feel would match your expertise in the preparation of dead people for burial, in fact we try our utmost to ensure our operators stay alive.


I feel that your last “role” working alongside a team with a disciplined attitude as Funeral Director for 8 years may have slightly distorted your view on reality. Maybe you should have just cut to the chase in your covering letter by stating the following instead:


“A dedicated Funeral Director, hard working, loyal, used to dealing with dead people on a daily basis as part of a team, seeks a position as a Psd member in Iraq/Afghanistan to further his professional career. A renowned expert on presentation of corpses, dedicated to the task at hand? A proficient defensive/offensive driver with many years of horse drawn armoured hearse experience.”


Hopefully you can understand how this looks from a corporate angle and naturally we are unable to offer you a position at this time. However, should the state of play worldwide deteriorate to the level where we have to employ armed Funeral Directors we will of course be in touch.


I wish you all the best in your future endeavours.




Regards



***** **********

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Play.Boy.Pablo

This guy sounds like me but with no brain or on drugs


Im doomed


Im going to drown myself in my bath tub

lol




Pablo


PS If you cant find a job shakespeare you could allways write for a sitcom like seinfeld



PEACE