Ffing Cylclists

KNASHER · **Ffing Cylclists**

Whilst driving home yesterday (sunday) after a nice day out with the missus i had to pull over onto the cycle lane as a van had stopped in front of me and was unloading.The traffic then came to a halt as the traffic lights went through their sequence.This happened on a single lane one way street.
A cyclist then came up behind me in the cycle lane and tried to squeeze past, which was impossible without getting on the pavement. so the Lycra clad urban warrior decided to give my door mirror a good twatting.Ok i was blocking the whole cycle lane and preventing "Lycra Man" gaining 4.2 metres (the length of my vehicle) before he would be held back by the red light.
I ignored "Lycra Man" as the wife said "don't start" which is women's talk for if you do start your life will not be worth living for months.

I looked at "Lycra Man" and gesticulated that i cant go anywhere (politely I may add)
He returned my polite gestures with a torrent of verbal abuse about 4x4 drivers owning the road etc etc blah blah blah

Considering my track record of road rage incidents i was doing very very well until "Lycra Man" gobbed a big nasty one on the passenger window inches from my wife's face.

He was now going to be welcomed to my world in a very painful manner.
I opened my door and was busy trying to get my considerable frame between the van and my vehicle when i heard an almighty thud followed by a scream for help.
The missus had obviously thought "Lycra Man" had crossed the line.
She opened the passenger door at around 100 mph knocking "Lycra Man" on his arse ,as his feet were strapped into the pedals he was going nowhere i have never laughed so much it was hilarious.
The passing pedestrians who had witnessed this fancied a piece of the action and began berating "Lycra Man" for all he was worth.

The wife ordered me to "get back in and drive"
That made my day "Lycra Man" sat on his arse by my 8 stone wife.
I guess he got off lucky if i had got hold of him it could have been a lot different,more pain i guess but the humiliation the wife caused him was a better punishment by far.

The door was ok not even a scratch unlike him

Just thought i would share this with you.
Has anybody else came across "Lycra Man" or similar.

NASH..

DC60 · 29-11-2009, 08:29 AM

Ha Ha Ha, Thats made my day KNASHER,

TommyS · 29-11-2009, 10:01 AM

Good for her. My wife(then girlfriend) came to my aid once when I was getting a kicking by about 6/7 youths by hammering them with a crash helmet. It took two of them to control her. Just shows don't fcuk with the wife

TommyS

Oddjob · 29-11-2009, 10:06 AM

Indeed.
Mess with my Mini Mafiossa at your peril.

PaulSmith · 30-11-2009, 06:11 AM

Mine's only 5'2 and she scares me.....

gimli · 30-11-2009, 10:00 AM

excellent has deffenatly brought a smile to my face even tho a do like to do a bit of cycling every now and again (no mr lycra crap tho lol)

technicalprotection · 30-11-2009, 01:13 PM

i cant stand cyclists ever since one nearly ran me over and started laughthing you know the ones the smelly looking courior ones i spend 3 hours walking in glasgow city centre looking for the bastard.
if anyone can point me in the right direction where i can buy an acme boxing glove on a spring pole please do as i will have many hours of fun driving by cyclists.